Well it's been a while since I made some recent internet activity. Just doing what i can to cut down on the carbon emmision i release daily. :)

Anywho... what has been going on with my life? I've been up and about almost everywhere to be honest. In the past week I've been helping and partaking in two different Asian organizations. I helped the Taiwanese American Student Coalition (TASC) with their Night Market event, and Philippine American League (PAL) with their banquet. It was a lot of work and both events were pretty awesome.



I can never smile. lol.




Guess who I am. I stole the hat from the kitchen. When I was helping out.

Even though I am not Taiwanese or Filipino, there are people there I truly love and would always be there to help them out, so it was worth the lack of sleep and excitement. Because both shows events seemed pretty successful.

And now for next week, there is another event for Asian Student Union, (the umbrella group that is in charge for all of the Asian sub-units) called Asian Night. Its a night where all the subgroups either cook A LOT of food or put up a performance, and I've just accepted the task of being their MC.



....HOLY FRICKING WUT? I've never been a MC before. I'm not even too sure what I'm supposed to do. I'm asking my friends as to what i'm supposed to be doing. lol. Oh man. i love my life it's so eventful. :)

oh and some Halloween pics. :D




I think my costume last year was still so much better. ...=.=''

I seriously DON'T remember ever taking that suit off or losing a shirt. >>'' because that night that shirt went missing.

and i think i need and want a hair cut. my hair getting too long.

So, how did my worst Halloween go? Actually, the better question... what the hell happened?

Honestly, The beginning wasn't too bad. It's the Middle and end that sucked ass.

I'm having a pretty kick ass time at the Asian frat house I went to party at to begin with, Lambda Phi Epsilon. I was penguin and it attracted a good amount of positive reviews. :D

I started having my flippers ripped apart which kind of sucked. And then I think I blacked out for a little bit in the party. i don't think I did anything too stupid except for losing my shirt again. (fyi this always happens when I get drunk) and my roommate had it for some reason. I'll ask him about that later.

Then I left the party to go downtown. :( EVERYTHING went down hill from there.

My friend who came with me get beat up because they didn't like his hair or something, I lost my phone and my ID trying to look for a way into the bar, the people I went looking for kinda disappeared and when I finally found them, it was better off I hadn't. Life really just sucked so much that night. and killed my jovial Halloween spirit. =.=

Well for starters,

I get anxiety attacks every time I talk to my parents. They don't know that and don't need to know that. Before, I would never have a way of really coping with it until now. Back then I would usually just wade it out and start tuning things out and start making physical motion expressing discomfort which i think they noticed sometimes. However yesterday, I took a caffeine pill before sitting down with them, and I was fine. Maybe the caffeine was covering over my anxiety, or I just became much more alert but I was able to tolerate sitting with them for 3-4 hours plus alone.


yup, these guys again...

Well... this doesn't necessarily make me a horrible person, but for some reason I feel like shitt inside because of this. I shouldn't feel this way about my parents but I do. I'm supposed to feel safe and secure with them... I just can't.

BUT, what DOES make me a horrible person is the fact I have and get horrible thoughts I shouldn't be getting. Interfering in relationships, playing around with other people, thinking others are nothing more than just tools for my future manipulation. In a sense having sociopathic thoughts about people, life, and everything in general. Kind of like how the bad guys in video games are. Starting off as the good guy that people attempt to emulate, only to be corrupted and go against everything he once stood for. I fear that the Code of Chivalry I once lived by and stood for is no longer a part of who I am.



And it's not just thinking about those thoughts, I'm starting to act on them too. Like training for acts of revenge (with full intentions of carrying them out), manipulating people into doing what I want out of sheer boredom, other things i'm not too proud to say yet. gahhh....

I guess i'm going through another identity crisis.



on another note, I've been watching "How I Met Your Mother". It's a fantastic show. :D